What would you ban and why? (Definitely tearoom!)

[SillyOldDufferModerator @sillyoldduffer]

Well, I drove to a supermarket today and wish to add:

1. People who block the aisles gossiping
2. Managers who decide to reorganise the shelves so no-one can find anything
3. Customers who are never ready to pay. And then finding the exact change is top priority, not keeping the queue moving!
4. Bored husbands forced to trail along behind their happy-shopper wives. The useless man gets in the way, radiates misery, and makes the place look untidy
5. Caravans. Or rather caravan drivers. This morning's adventure involved a line of traffic doing an emergency stop due to a gent who had clearly forgotten he was towing a large box. Only his car fitted into the gap…
6. Relatives who ring up hot bothered men just back from a tiring shop and insist on having a long pointless chat
7. Road-works with no-one on duty and failed temporary traffic lights
8. White Van and Taxi drivers
9. Men, it's always men, who don't understand who has priority on a roundabout. Might extend this to ban all male drivers under 30 or over 70 (apart from me because my driving is excellent)
10. Displays of severe sunburn on scraggy tattooed ladies.

Could go on, but Moses was only allowed Ten Commandments.

Dave

[HOWARDTParticipant @howardt]

Ban lorries from overtaking during daylight hours on dual carriageways. I have a length of dual carriageway close by which leads onto the motorway so lorries are always there, during peak morning travel it is not uncommon for lorries to be travelling alongside each other for the whole of the final five mile stretch with an empty road in front of them.

[Bryan Cedar 1Participant @bryancedar1]

The BBC news noisy drumming sound introduction that goes on for ever and ever. Time they found something more acceptable..

[Mick B1Participant @mickb1]

Posted by Bryan Cedar 1 on 21/07/2022 16:46:28:

The BBC news noisy drumming sound introduction that goes on for ever and ever. Time they found something more acceptable..

Yeah, they must have us down for infants if they think we'll believe it's all exciting…

[Robin GrahamParticipant @robingraham42208]

I've been wondering why I was getting a barrage of notifications of new postings on this thread, then had a look and saw that I started it. At 01:23 on a Sunday morning six years ago. I was probably having my nightcap and feeling a bit discursive. Perhaps I should be banned from posting in the wee hours. But it seems to have had a function!

For the record my views have changed somewhat since my original gripe about restricting the availability of chemicals to the general public. I don't like not being to buy concentrated nitric or sulphuric acid on the internet, but accept that it probably had to happen. You can find a recipe for almost any anything on the internet now – when I was a kid it was the knowledge not the not the means which was restricted.

On a lighter note, in the spirit of Dave's supermarket related Commandments I would ban people who feel that they have to mash their payment card into the checkout machine – IT'S CALLED CONTACTLESS FOR A REASON shouts my inner voice. It bugs me out of all proportion to its importance. I want to follow them outside and 'have a word'.

Robin.

[Anonymous]

Posted by SillyOldDuffer on 21/07/2022 16:06:51:

Well, I drove to a supermarket today and wish to add:

White Van and Taxi drivers

Steady on old chap!

Edited By Peter Greene 🇨🇦 on 22/07/2022 01:33:01

[vic neweyParticipant @vicnewey60017]

Posted by Buffer on 21/07/2022 13:35:01:

I would ban people from saying "do you know what I mean" at the end of every sentence or when they stop for a breath because it's very annoying and I am fed up of always answering them with 'yes I do know what you mean" I would also ban people from saying "like" all the time. Eg. I want to go to like America.

Likewise ban people who miss out the letter T in words such as computer which becomes compu-a and then there is mo-a car etc

Then you have the seemingly mass of people who raise the end of every sentence as though asking a question, it's called a rising inflection and annoys the hell out of me as it's like a silent way of saying 'do you know what I mean?

[pgk pgkParticipant @pgkpgk17461]

I do sympathise with the supermarket experience. It gets me every time. Whatever queue I pick there's always a mentally challenged pedantic individual who owns a money purse. You know the thing…half round with a lipped lid to slide the change into. The bill comes to £17.54p so they rummage around in assorted chopping bags or handbags to find said purse and attempt to count out £17.54p. I’m silently screaming "You can blasted well see there's not enough in there you daft bint". But, No, they have to check and double check before putting it all away.. while I'm again screaming "For Gods sake take out the £2.54p first".. Then it’s back to the bran tub lucky dip looking for the purse with the folding stuff, counting out the notes and of course then going back to the coin purse.
Just when you pray the whole thing may be over – yeah, they want their lottery tickets checked, Oh and yes we'll have scratchies —now what number scratchies do I want…?

I've tried the self-service checkout but that is inhabited by demons that really hate me. I;ve given up trying to work it myself since the machine shave a personal vendetta against me. I call the supervisor and again suffer that withering look of "Are you an imbecile if you can do it yourself?.". After I've explained that a) the machines hate me an b) if no-one used the supervisor she wouldn't have a job I get another withering look before they start on my basket. And of course the machine promptly throws a wobbly, need rebooting twice, can't read at least one bar-code that any other machine there can handle fine because they just have to go check… the content weight doesn't match the product….

I try to take it all in good heart – I really try- because I’m plugged into their free EV charge point outside and I might as well be in the shop as sitting in my car reading a book while I get free leccy….

pgk

[Ady1Participant @ady1]

Posted by vic newey on 22/07/2022 09:51:03:

Likewise ban people who miss out the letter T in words such as computer which becomes compu-a and then there is mo-a car etc

Especially one advert where moh-ah is constantly repeated

but it is possible that his teeth make t's too difficult to pronounce

[Mike PooleParticipant @mikepoole82104]

As I am blessed with the ability to count I like to return the pocket full of change that I acquire on a visit to the pub so I count out the price of a pint while waiting to be served, the pub welcome the return of their change as I believe the banks make a charge to supply change and card sales also charge. Many places are now card only which does put them at risk if their systems go down. I was recently in a branch of Starbucks which is now cashless and their electronic payment systems went down, from somewhere they produced a card machine for the old print and sign system, when did you last see one of those? Luckily I had my plastic card and could be served but the phone only customers were out of luck. I usually carry cash, card and phone so can cover most payment methods, bank transfer and PayPal if required.

Mike

Edited By Mike Poole on 22/07/2022 11:14:09

[bernard towersParticipant @bernardtowers37738]

hey pgk, bint its a long while since I've heard that one!

[SillyOldDufferModerator @sillyoldduffer]

Posted by vic newey on 22/07/2022 09:51:03:

Posted by Buffer on 21/07/2022 13:35:01:

…

…

Then you have the seemingly mass of people who raise the end of every sentence as though asking a question, it's called a rising inflection and annoys the hell out of me as it's like a silent way of saying 'do you know what I mean?

We caught the habit off those beastly Australians. Top quality British telly like Crossroads was pushed off the air by Neighbours, a cheap inferior soap made by foreign ex-cons with corks dangling from their hats. Everyone loved it.

Apart from the sets wobbling when the actors leaned on them and Benny being nowhere near as sexy as Kylie, Crossroads obviously provided insightful social comment better than Jane Austin. Unlike Neighbours, where Harold – believed eaten by sharks – returned much later to the series after being rescued by a passing trawler. No problem explaining that: he'd just taken a long time to recover from amnesia.

Lets ban all TV and Radio programmes with ridiculous plot lines. Like the Fonz jumping the shark, and Patrick Duffy's return to Dallas in which an entire season of the soap had to be explained away as a dream…

Reminds me of this exchange on a British Quiz show:

Q. Who was shot dead in Dallas in 1964?
A. J.R.Ewing

Dave

 

Edited By SillyOldDuffer on 22/07/2022 12:20:03

[Martin ConnellyParticipant @martinconnelly55370]

Who was shot dead in Dallas in 1964? The only famous person I know of who was shot in Dallas was JFK, 22 Nov 63

Martin C

PS Robin, the contactless limit is probably £100, if you exceed it you need to plug your card into the machine. It's too easy now to exceed that £100 limit.

 

Edited By Martin Connelly on 22/07/2022 12:37:31

[RobinParticipant @robin]

Bobby Ewing got bumped off for a season in '85 but JR was only shot, not shot dead. I was a fan

[DalboyParticipant @dalboy]

Another is ban people relying on or blaming auto correct, try reading before press the bl**dy button

[SillyOldDufferModerator @sillyoldduffer]

Posted by Martin Connelly on 22/07/2022 12:30:50:

Who was shot dead in Dallas in 1964? The only famous person I know of who was shot in Dallas was JFK, 22 Nov 63

…

Let's ban SillyOldDuffers who trust their failing memories rather than checking! If only the forum had an 'Ignore Member' button…

PS I can remember where I was though. Dad came back from work early bursting with the news and fear of Nuclear War. I was very brave. Being young and foolish and not knowing anything about the cold war helped!

[DalboyParticipant @dalboy]

Posted by SillyOldDuffer on 21/07/2022 16:06:51:

Well, I drove to a supermarket today and wish to add:

1. People who block the aisles gossiping
2. Managers who decide to reorganise the shelves so no-one can find anything
3. Bored husbands forced to trail along behind their happy-shopper wives. The useless man gets in the way, radiates misery, and makes the place look untidy

Could go on, but Moses was only allowed Ten Commandments.

Dave

 

1 my wife forgot to say how many times I told her to keep to one side

2 Everything moved this morning yet complain they don't have enough staff for helping customers so where did they find them to reorganize

3 Yep that is me especially when she dives suddenly down an aisle to find the item in the next one due to number 2 above

Edited By Derek Lane on 22/07/2022 13:34:18

[duncan webster 1Participant @duncanwebster1]

They move things around in the hope that as you search for what you want you'll impulse buy something else. I told the manager in our local Sainsbury that it wouldn't work on me, if I can't find it quickly I'll manage without, but it didn't seem to register. Click and collect was good during lock down, but they used it as a way of getting rid of scabby veg.

Some French supermarkets are reported to have non-chat checkouts, sounds like a job for me. They need a big notice up 'arrention, you are going to have to pay, get your purse out now' 

Edited By duncan webster on 22/07/2022 14:29:11

[JAParticipant @ja]

The deputy manager a local supermarket became our MP! Not surprisingly he is absolutely useless.

I sometimes think the electorate should be banned on the grounds of insanity.

Rant over, please don't take it further.

JA

[garyParticipant @gary44937]

football on main channels on evenings total disgrace

[Nigel Graham 2Participant @nigelgraham2]

In the interest of balance…

I'd ban customers so gormless that they have no:

– idea what they want, pick up things and abandon them randomly in totally unconnected displays. Want a yoghurt? Oh, there's one between the screwdriver sets and plastic garden clogs!

– respect for the staff's display work. Plastic garden clogs? They were easy to search for your size until made a chaos emulating that among the T-shirts. Oh – that pair I espy all lonely on the loo roll stack might be my size.

– ability to understand the photograph and text on the carton, so when you arrive home and think where to install that shiny wall-lamp you realise one such type has already opened the box and lost the crucial little mounting-bracket, so has closed the box and put it back. Hopefully in the original basket, not among the yoghurts or clogs.

.

The last happened to me. I took the receipt and lamp back, and suggested I search under the baskets. Sure enough, there was the lost part, huddled together with waifs and strays from other goods.

A staff member (sorry, 'colleague' ) in Aldi or Lidl told me it can take over an hour after closing to replace all the displaced goods and tidy the messed-up displays.

[Mike PooleParticipant @mikepoole82104]

Posted by duncan webster on 22/07/2022 14:25:27:

They move things around in the hope that as you search for what you want you'll impulse buy something else. I told the manager in our local Sainsbury that it wouldn't work on me, if I can't find it quickly I'll manage without, but it didn't seem to register. Click and collect was good during lock down, but they used it as a way of getting rid of scabby veg.

Some French supermarkets are reported to have non-chat checkouts, sounds like a job for me. They need a big notice up 'arrention, you are going to have to pay, get your purse out now'

Edited By duncan webster on 22/07/2022 14:29:11

You would be lucky to get more than a hello and goodbye in Aldi and Lidl.

Mike

[Bryan Cedar 1Participant @bryancedar1]

Posted by Mike Poole on 22/07/2022 18:01:43:

Posted by duncan webster on 22/07/2022 14:25:27:

They move things around in the hope that as you search for what you want you'll impulse buy something else. I told the manager in our local Sainsbury that it wouldn't work on me, if I can't find it quickly I'll manage without, but it didn't seem to register. Click and collect was good during lock down, but they used it as a way of getting rid of scabby veg.

Some French supermarkets are reported to have non-chat checkouts, sounds like a job for me. They need a big notice up 'arrention, you are going to have to pay, get your purse out now'

Edited By duncan webster on 22/07/2022 14:29:11

You would be lucky to get more than a hello and goodbye in Aldi and Lidl.

Mike

Not so, Lidl always say hello AND goodbye to me.

[Anonymous]

I stood behind someone in a supermarket checkout a few weeks ago for 5 minutes (I timed it) while she fiddled on her phone trying to come up with – not her method of payment – but her store loyalty card number which was phone-based. She flicked the screen backwards and forwards, backward and forwards completely inured to the mutterings of me and others and the glare of the checkout clerk.

Finally she did find it then paid (with her phone) in a few seconds (only a little longer than it took me to tap my debit card when it was my turn).

Thankfully we don't have air-miles any more.

[Nigel Graham 2Participant @nigelgraham2]

Steven Vine –

The 'phones at shop tills yes, I go with that one, but I think you've rather shot yourself in the foot by wanting to ban shop workers having Sundays off. Does anyone genuinely need go shopping on a Sunday?

Still, it's heartening to read that you are so busy on Sundays (in your workshop presumably) that you've failed to notice that Sing Something Simple has ceased to be…. probably still in Light Programme days!

(To my relief. I never liked that bland, angelic-choir / barbershop style. And no, I do not advocate banning it!)

[Author]

Posts