Once I saw a list of annual officer's reports that never made it to the CO's desk:
'This man is depriving a village somewhere, of an idiot"
Also; 'His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity"
And; "I would not use this officer for breeding purposes"
Finally; "As an engineer, this officer would be hopelessly lost with a Lego set"
Oompa – I once was 'volunteered' to do some trial shoots of a Barrett .50 Cal as the civvy engineers were not cleared/ game enough for the firing range but they were experimenting with muzzle brakes and stuff and needed a village idiot.
I slid back 2 foot on the groundsheet with every shot and they do make largish holes in surplus Land Rover Series IIa cylinder blocks at 800m. I'm now retired from that job, but a mate has just purchased a .338 Armalite which should take care of the rabbits (he's promised to let me have a try). Before he recently retired, this particular village idiot spent long holidays abroad in Afghanistan protecting all the village idiots back home.
My little rimfire gauge has now reached 112 orders if I decide to manufacture a few – must be a lot of village idiots around as 100 are required in the U.S of A. and the rest local.
* Danny M * (Village Idiot)