Neil,
You didn't say how big this item is. For O gauge modelling, the standard is to use a lead-bearing solder of decent pedigree, and phosphoric acid flux. Even for larger items I would avoid like the plague the use of plumber's solder of unknown composition, and fluxes of archaic recipe. Some of the latter are the devil to get rid of and are likely to cause corrosion years after the item is finished; the plumber's solders may well have very high melting points and this may be the cause of the distortion you are experiencing. And definitely save the multicore solder for electronic work and don't try using it here.
Carrs/C&L Finescale (http://www.finescale.org.uk/index.php?option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=56) sell an excellent range of solders with a range of melting points. If this is the only soldering to be done, I would use the 145 degree solder, it melts (as its name suggests) at a low temperature, is quite strong, and it flows and wets the brass well. If you have more bits to attach, start with a higher temperature solder and then move down the range. If you click on the above link, then on the "click here for datasheet…" you will get a very much more comprehensive guide than I can give you here.
The best soldering irons are the temperature controlled soldering stations, but be aware that for larger work even a 50 watt one may not have enough grunt; if you are likely to do a lot, look for an 80 watt or even 100 watt one. Another technique I use a lot is resistance soldering, which is rather like the juvenile equivalent of spot welding; however, since these units cost £150+, you are unlikely to be interested unless you plan to do a lot. (If you are interested, please ask).
David
Edited By David Littlewood on 15/03/2012 12:07:40