“I am the butler…” I like that!
I recently ejected one with, “No, Sorry, Mr. Gra-ham’s away at present. I’m his landlord looking after the property. May I take a message?”
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Conservatory-sellers are easy: “Sorry, I live in a third-floor flat.”
Any other building sales – you could try, “Sorry mate, this is a housing-association flat.”
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“I’m from the ‘Windows Corporation and your computer has reported it has been compromised.” and similar:
Me, “No you are not. No it hasn’t. Goodbye!” – ring off before the caller can.
I never swear at the callers but am sometimes blunt. I have told a few, “You are a liar! Goodbye”
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Supposed surveys, or sales attempts based on them, such as for loft insulation: “What survey? Who has commissioned this survey? Which Government grants do you mean?” or similar attempts to identify the company behind it. The callers tend to be a bit more persistent, if genuinely are trying to sell something, but they do not like you asking the wrong questions, and soon end the call, often quite abruptly.
One sales pitch that was real, I think a doorstep or letter-box attempt, tried to have me buy that loft-insulation consisting of foam sprayed between the rafters. Advice I sought was to the effect that it is such a wrong thing to do that many lenders will not offer mortgages on such property (unless it is removed at seller’s expense, I suppose).
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The recorded introductions can sound convincing but simply talking over it soon reveals the truth, by not responding to the interruption as a live caller naturally would.
Live callers might not need monitoring to end the call quickly. If they are paid only by results it’s in their interest to terminate the call as soon they realise it will fail.
Though I managed to engage one lass in conversation to the point that not only did she fail to sell a ‘phone contract I was not going to buy anyway, but she rang me on two further occasions just for purely social chats! In fact I warned her to be careful not to be caught doing that.
The original caller had been a man and when he realised he was not selling me anything, he had replaced himself with this YL. “Oh aye?” thinks I, “The charm offensive, eh?”