Q: Is this progress …

[Michael GilliganParticipant @michaelgilligan61133]

[Michael GilliganParticipant @michaelgilligan61133]

BMW

1. The ultimate driving machine
2. This …

.

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MichaelG

[John HaineParticipant @johnhaine32865]

28 days early surely?

[lee websterParticipant @leewebster72680]

Perhaps VD will report back to BMW about where I've been and what I said, and who I've met. No thanks!

[Brian GParticipant @briang]

I wonder if she has Sirius Cybernetic's "Genuine People Personality"? Personally I would prefer the Nissan Pivo's friendly little dashboard robot as "Your plastic pal who's fun to be with".

Brian G

[Nigel Graham 2Participant @nigelgraham2]

What on Earth is it advertising? A new model of BMW sales-rep chariot? Some of sort of on-line "virtual" girl-friend? Or an "animatronic" one to occupy the otherwise-empty passenger seat? [Best stop there… –Ed.]

The waffle under the photo reminds me of one of those end-of-page fillers that stick in my mind, from a copy of Readers' Digest years ago. It told us that a school in America had sent every pupil home with a letter describing some new approach to its teaching methods. RD quoted the letter, which was all similarly incomprehensible, pseudo-intellectual fluff telling its readers nothing at all useful, and what it had inspired one parent to write back; something like this:

" I am a Languages Professor fluent in [he named three modern European languages] and with some knowledge of a few others; but I have no idea what you are talking about. Have you? "

.

The daft, or sad, thing is that the writers of such publicity twaddle genuinely believe it themselves, and think all their readers will, too! Still, these prunes do supply plenty of material for Private Eye's "Pseuds' Corner" column.

[Mick B1Participant @mickb1]

Look, you miserable old Luddites, YOU CAN CUSTOMISE THE EXTERIOR COLOUR!

(whatever that actually means)

 

How could it be more perfect?

 

(Was Syrius Cybernetics based on Golgafrinchan? )

Edited By Mick B1 on 03/03/2023 09:06:49

[Michael GilliganParticipant @michaelgilligan61133]

Posted by Mick B1 on 03/03/2023 09:04:30:

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(whatever that actually means)

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I can’t bear to post a link, but there are plenty of videos available.

MichaelG.

[Kiwi BlokeParticipant @kiwibloke62605]

I can't bear to look into this at all. I used to be a petrol-head, but now cars are just a nuisance, and one is held hostage by incompetent srevice agents and by the manufacturers' walls of secrecy surrounding any technical information you want. To answer: yes, this is progress – progress to hell. It is driven by idiots who think that 'because you can' is sufficient justification for doing something, and, of course, by the dead hand of those whose only interest is the financial side of a business. It's ghastly!

Edited By Kiwi Bloke on 03/03/2023 09:47:23

[Mick B1Participant @mickb1]

Posted by Kiwi Bloke on 03/03/2023 09:45:33:

I can't bear to look into this at all.

…

It's ghastly!

Edited By Kiwi Bloke on 03/03/2023 09:47:23

Come on, we both know it isn't even worth trying.

It's like one of those fake news items that appears on phone feeds, promises it's going to reveal some science, health, social or suchlike secret, draws the user into a string of waffle-filled Next Pages, then grinds into the sand in a slew of worthless advertising without ever telling you what it promised.

You can tell the target market from the brand.

[Peter G. ShawParticipant @peterg-shaw75338]

You can tell the target market from the brand.

Yeah, the gullible!

Peter G. Shaw

[Michael GilliganParticipant @michaelgilligan61133]

Posted by Mick B1 on 03/03/2023 10:10:01:

You can tell the target market from the brand.

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But the point of my opening post was that the brand’s target market seems to have changed

MichaelG.

[duncan webster 1Participant @duncanwebster1]

Posted by Michael Gilligan on 03/03/2023 10:42:38:

Posted by Mick B1 on 03/03/2023 10:10:01:

You can tell the target market from the brand.

.

But the point of my opening post was that the brand’s target market seems to have changed

MichaelG.

That's because BMW has lost the aggressive idiot market to Audi.

[Mick B1Participant @mickb1]

Posted by Peter G. Shaw on 03/03/2023 10:21:19:

You can tell the target market from the brand.

Yeah, the gullible!

Peter G. Shaw

I think the authorised term is 'Early Adopters'.

[Ady1Participant @ady1]

We're the oil lamp and coal fire generation, I don't think we're the target market anymore

They'll bring out a talking mobility-aid for us later in the year

[Howard LewisParticipant @howardlewis46836]

But if the batteries go flat, I shan't be able hear what it's saying, or see which button to presson the keypad, or the touch screen.

And we all know about bovine excrement, don't we?

Howard

[John HaineParticipant @johnhaine32865]

I think it's an April Fool spoof that got out early.

[Michael GilliganParticipant @michaelgilligan61133]

Posted by John Haine on 03/03/2023 13:07:58:

I think it's an April Fool spoof that got out early.

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I only wish you were right, John … But I doubt that even BMW would put this much effort into a spoof:

**LINK**

https://www.bmw.co.uk/en/topics/discover/concept-cars/bmw-vision-ivisiondee-2023.html

MichaelG.

[Nigel Graham 2Participant @nigelgraham2]

I opened that link (using the quoted address).

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Possibly not a spoof but all that pie-eyed piffle might simply be to draw you into their advertising department's trap; that of so-called "cookies" linked to a very long list of irrelevant companies hiding behind opaque names. They have no rejection option despite the big button; or if they do, it is carefully hidden.

The Models link shows much more normal cars – just BMW's ordinary but costly company reps' wagons.

'

Also saw some waffle about linking hardware and software. i.e. making the vehicle so damnably complicated that if you break down in a remote area on a cold Winter night…. tough! The nearest possible repairer is 500 miles away, closed 'til Monday and charges £500 just to suck their teeth while estimating £5000 to change a small plug-in p.c.b. – next month.

"Oh, and the Infotainment System shows the Integrated Vehicle Management Protocol has identified the rear screen wiper blade must be changed as it's 239.37 miles old, and Halfords not Harrods."

Amusingly, the Chief Blurb Officer responsible seems to imply building a computer into a car is something novel!

[old martParticipant @oldmart]

The rubbish spouted out in the sales blurb is not aimed at intellegent people, but at those who have lots of money and who are easily fooled into thinking they are helping the planet.

[DiogenesIIParticipant @diogenesii]

"..I wanted a Digital Emotional Experience, but all I got was i VD.."

..you heard it here first..

[Sonic EscapeParticipant @sonicescape38234]

It seems that I'm the only one here who is happy about this future. I'm a software engineer in automotive industry. I say let them make cars as complex as possible. More well paid work for me then!

[Chris MateParticipant @chrismate31303]

When I see these type of suggestions, I alway wonder how long it will take before all is over and at which uptake it could happen.

[samuel heywoodParticipant @samuelheywood23031]

I think i'd rather take a "Johnny Cab"

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