Ian C, I think there must be a tad of aeronautical telepathy happening here <LOL>
A bit of light relief here I hope, and ever so ‘not quite’ off topic ………… ;>

)
And for the pilots of you out there, you may never look at an
aircraft wing again in flight without a smile creeping across your face.
In the 1990’s, having seen the writing on the
wall for the end of my engineering career, (busted back and worn out
joints)! I decided to ‘upgrade’ my private pilots licence whilst I could
still walk, and become a professional flying instructor – which meant
by then (thanks to the CAA) gaining a CPL first.
The ground school element for the written papers
was for me, a full time residential course for each discipline – Aircraft
technical and Navigation subjects, not much in the way of light relief,
and little short of a gruelling war of attrition for many students – financially And accademically!
There were though, a few memorable occasions which will stick in my mind forever, and one such event was during a discussion regarding metal fatigue in airframes.
For the Aircraft Techinical lectures, we had a
tutor who was a brilliant mathematician, and whom I vaguelly remember
had something to do with Helecopter design, maybe rotors, but he knew
his stuff inside out and backwards, and as such wasn’t often questioned, and whatever he said, we tended to hang onto his every word.
NB. If you’ve ever forked out serious money to write CAA exam papers that you seriously didn’t want to fail, you’ll know the feeling!
Anyway, one day aircraft cabin pressurisation and aerofoil design (wings)
and life cycle fatigue were being discussed, (and I’ll wager that not a pilot in
existance hasn’t at some point, looked at a wing in flight and secretly
prayed the bugger wasn’t going to fall off) so he had our rapt
attention.
The chap turned to the white board and calm as
you like, pointed to a diagram of a typical airliner wing exclaimed
…….. ‘I don’t know why designers don’t just drill a line of holes straight
across the stress points and have done with it, the wing would probably never
break there and it’d save them billions!.
Well, we
all sort of sat a bit nonplussed as we digested this gem of wisdom, and
waited for the Guru to expound further, but the pregnant pause got too much for one student, who took the bait and had to ask ‘Why’ ………… the quick reposte he got and with a dead pan expression was ………..
‘When was the last time you tore a piece of paper off a bog roll, that actually tore on the perforations!
Ok, we were all stressed out of our brains and bank balances with impending exams, and maybe it was funnier then than in the telling now, but we all just fell about howling with laughter, and coming from such a noted ‘boffin’ who was as dry as toast, it was a magical moment I can tell you.
Well, I got my CPL, then went on to become a
commercial flying instructor, and latterly a flight examiner, and I can
tell you with my hand on my heart, there was never a moment from then on, especially when entering or recovering from a steep turn, power on stall, or a fully developed spin, that I didn’t look at my aircraft wings and remember the bog roll reference without a smile on my face, or occasional chuckle!
Invariably during those recoveries, my students would gaspingly ask what the hell I was smiling about, and recounting the tale, would see them laughing nervously ……….. as they surreptitiously scrutinised the wing on their side whilst making out they were doing a ‘look out’ ……………… :>

))
Maybe they were looking for a line of holes <LOL>
Regards,
John.