Just read this “beginners guide” and laughed a lot!

[Geoff TheasbyParticipant @geofftheasby]

Tim,

I once discussed metrication with an American who couldn't agree that a 1 inch diameter steel bar was also 25.4 mm across, or that you could produce metric items on an Imperial lathe. See upcoming Club News 4542.

Geoff

[Ian S CParticipant @iansc]

Or what about one spanner I'v seen, double ended with a Crescent type head on each end.

Ian S C

[John Parry 4Participant @johnparry4]

Hullo all,I am really enjoying this roundup of entertaining times past ! In the 1960's as a young mechanic sometimes hubcaps would become loose or squeaky. With a straight face a youngster would be sent to the stores for a replacement Constant Mesh Hubcap. At another main dealer for Rover cars,I was told of a very fussy customer when arriving to collect his car would first walk right around looking at the hubcap. Each one had the trademark Viking ship on & had to be exactly upright. If not,a mechanic was summoned to jack up each wheel to get things correct. Any explanation that one mile down the road they would be completely out of sync was always dismissed as nonsense.Happy days.

[ChrisHParticipant @chrish]

As a cadet I was 'down below' – in the engine room, when a deck cadet came down asking if I knew where the tank holding the green oil for the starboard light was. I told him that it was right up there with the tank for the red oil for the port light and the white oil for the stern light – "ah, he said, you didn't fall for that one". I had seen through that one even though I was a first-tripper!

I later did 6 months in a London ship repairers company. The apprentice in the fitting shop asked me if I had any metal glue. Why I asked? He had a motor scooter (it was mid 1960's) and had drilled holes in the exhaust to make it sound "more roarty", but one hole was blowing onto his leg and he wanted to glue it up. No I said, don't have any, but ask the shop foreman, he might. So he did. The foreman sent him down to the stores with a chitty for some 'metal glue for fixing exhaust pipe holes' and for a 6ft struggling bar as well.

[Danny M2ZParticipant @dannym2z]

A nice revived thread!

When I was a Sgt Radar Mechanic the storeman gave me some paperwork for an annual inspection of the rotary converters that took the 415V 3-phase input to an electric motor which drove a generator to give the required voltage 3-phase output for U.S. equipment. The nameplate said – Motor Generator/Rotary Converter/3-Phase.

Feeling a bit mischieveous I told him that a complete inspection would require a 20L drum of 3 stroke fuel so that we could test it when no mains input power was available.

I explained that it contained a rotary engine which had 3 lobes, so it actually was a 3 stroke engine – but as the same fuel was used in the Army's Pilatus Turbo Porter aircraft he might try the Army Aviation Regiment.

About 2 weeks later I was called into the Captain's office (an engineer) – he was annoyed but smiling as apparently this request had travelled right up the supply chain and he got an angry phone call from a senior officer in Canberra suggesting where I stick my 3 stroke fuel. The storeman never forgave me.

In the same unit, a Gunner asked another RAEME storeman for a left-handed tap as he had burred a wheel nut from his Valiant car (they actually used left hand thread wheel nuts on one side of the vehicle).

Storeman offered to give him a parallel tap and said that it depends on which way you turn it but this Gunner was not that silly so then he asked for a normal r/h tap and said that he would tap the nut from the other side to make it a l/h nut.

All perfectly true!

* Danny M *

Edited By Danny M2Z on 14/07/2016 08:46:59

[Paul Mills 4Participant @paulmills4]

Not that long ago my son was doing his apprenticeship at a joinery workshop and was sent to get a new bubble for a spirit level so went to the local shop bought some sweets are then and gave the empty blown up bag with the top twisted closed to the guy who had sent him, the recipient opened the bag shook it and complained it was empty so my lad said that he had spilt the bubbles and demanded loudly he paid for them, producing the cash receipt for the sweets. As everyone had heard they forced the guy to pay. Angus never had another joke played on him

Paul M

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