Humour section?

[Martin CottrellParticipant @martincottrell21329]

Hi David,

 

Congratulations on a great site, it’s certainly building into a valuable ME resource and is a great way of bringing like minded people together for help and discussion. As such I think it would be a nice idea to have a “Humour” section. I’m sure there must be some great tales or little anecdotes out there that people would be happy to share (myself included) but have nowhere relevent to post them at present.

 

Obviously I’m not suggesting a free for all, politically incorrect joke fest of the type most mobile phone users are used to (funny as some of them are!!). Just some inoffensive and gentle humour with at least a tenueous (possibly need a spellchecker on this thing too!) link to our great hobby. Hope you can give it some thought and I’ve got one to kick it off with if you do decide to give it a go!

 

Regards, Martin. 

[Martin CottrellParticipant @martincottrell21329]

[Martin CottrellParticipant @martincottrell21329]

Hello?? Surely someone must like a laugh now and again…..anyone?….Ok, just a sneeky smile then??……….feel like I’ve just walked in on an SMEE commitee meeting and suggested Tamiya plastic kits are the way forward!

 

Martin.

[Martin CottrellParticipant @martincottrell21329]

Hello?? Surely someone must like a laugh now and again…..anyone?….Ok, just a sneeky smile then??……….feel like I’ve just walked in on an SMEE commitee meeting and suggested Tamiya plastic kits are the way forward!

 

Martin.

[John Stevenson 1Participant @johnstevenson1]

Martin,

Have you heard about the one  about the flat earth society or was that the SMEE committee meeting one ?

 

John S.

[Martin CottrellParticipant @martincottrell21329]

Sorry about the duplicate post…or maybe it was just an echo in a very empty room!!

 

Martin.

[Geoff TheasbyParticipant @geofftheasby]

Just to keep you company, I will say that I would like a bit of humour, too.

 

What happened to the odd jokes in ME from the club newsletters?   I enjoyed those.

 

As I learn more about practical engineering, I am reminded of the saying common amongst pilots.

 

Experience comes from bad judgement, and good judgement comes from experience.

 

Regards

Geoff

[David Clark 13Participant @davidclark13]

Hi There
How about this one?

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle.  The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “Hey Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.  So how come I make $39,675 a year (a pretty small salary) and you get the really big bucks – more than 1.5 million – when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic… 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 “Try doing it with the engine running.”

[Ian S CParticipant @iansc]

Hi Geoff,when I was in the aviation industry,the saying was theres old pilots and bold pilots,but no old bold pilots.Our pilots were mainly in the agricultural/topdressing business,and quite a few tended on the bold side of things.IAN S.C.

[Geoff TheasbyParticipant @geofftheasby]

A top surgeon used to dread attending dinner parties, because he was always asked to carve.

 

One day this happened, and a wag said, “Huh, that’s easy”

 

The surgeon gave him the cutlery and said, “Right, let’s see you put it back together”

 

Regards

Geoff

[keithmartParticipant @keithmart]

Hi

 

What is the difference between a mechanical Engineer and a Civil Engineer?

 

Mechanical engineers build weapons, Civil engineers build targets

 

Normal people … believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.

 

Regards

 

Keith 

Leeds UK

[Martin CottrellParticipant @martincottrell21329]

A couple of years ago, I came in from the garden one evening to find my wife sat thumbing through a copy of Model Engineer that I’d left on the coffee table. Not wishing to disturb her new found interest, I made us a cuppa and sat down with her surprised that she was still engrossed in my magazine.

 

A few more minutes passed then suddenly she chirped up” This bloke is definately trying a fast one!” Surprised at her remark I asked her why. “Well”, she continued ” It says here in the classified ads, ‘Topslide wanted for Colchester Student'”.

 

“What’s wrong with that?” I replied.

 

“Well, you Model Engineers are all middle aged or old, I bet he’s only saying he’s a student so someone will take pity on him and let him have a topslide cheap!” she scorned.

 

Once I’d  stopped laughing I explained that “Student” in this instance referred to a model of lathe, not a pennyless youngster after something for nothing.

 

Well, it wasn’t going to stop there, being female, she needed to have the last word just to confirm that I was wrong. She mused for a few more seconds then triumphantly exclaimed; “Yes, there’s definately something fishy about him, he says he’s from Colchester but the town beside his phone number says Derby!”……..women, don’t you just love ’em!!

 

Martin.

[Ian S CParticipant @iansc]

Engineering is the art of modelling materials we do not wholly understand, into shapes we cannot precisely analyse so as to withstand forces we cannot properly assess, in such a way that the public has no reason to suspect the extent of our ignorance. Dr.,A.R.Dykes

[Author]

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