How Many People Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb on the Forum?

[John Paton 1Participant @johnpaton1]

Having just had to change to tail light on my campervan I could have done with the 158 forum members to help.

the gas bottle storage space and wardrobe are built in on top of the trim that hides the lamp cluster and the two nuts that retain the unit need Houdini stills to get your arm through the aperture in the panelling, down the door post, vet the wiring bundle and just past the sharp metal body panel.

oh Neils list doesn’t include such divergent comments, but glad to see your understanding of the forum.

John

[Nicholas FarrParticipant @nicholasfarr14254]

Posted by peter smith 5 on 17/02/2021 18:20:18:

Grandad had to **********************************************

Funny – it used up all the water and acetalyne carbide but was always empty. Where did the black light go? Ultra violet and invisible???

pete

Hi, Ah! the black light, the best bulb lamp light to help you find the "Darkside" I mean! if it shows you something you can't see, it's just gotta be the Darkside, hasn't it!? 

Regards Nick.

Edited By Nicholas Farr on 17/02/2021 19:35:42

[Nicholas FarrParticipant @nicholasfarr14254]

Posted by peter smith 5 on 17/02/2021 18:49:34:

Was it AC/DC ???

pete

Hi Pete, nah! Flash.

Regards Nick.

[Ian WelfordParticipant @ianwelford58739]

Nick

you need the “travelling dark” as opposed to the summoning dark, for those fans of Terry Pratchett

[peter smith 5Participant @petersmith5]

Didn’t Cliff sing about that?

oh it was travelling light

pete

[GeorgineerParticipant @georgineer]

Posted by Rik Shaw on 17/02/2021 12:53:45:

BELL LAB PROVES EXISTENCE OF DARK SUCKERS! 

...

It's good to know that Bell Labs are keeping up. As long ago as the early seventies I read a scientific paper which showed that photons don't exist, and that what we perceive as light is actually caused by darkons streaming endlessly in from the edges of the universe. Unfortunately, photocopies (which presumably are made by sucking darkons out of the paper) weren't compatible with my student grant so I couldn't afford to make a copy of the article.

George B.

[Jeff DaymanParticipant @jeffdayman43397]

I'm pretty sure darkons are what you get from Lucas light bulbs much of the time, just as anti-sparks are what come out of their ignition parts.

Could be darkons affect bread toasters too. I have heard people say " damn! darkon oneside" when using toasters in the canteen.

(i'll get me coat)

[Nicholas FarrParticipant @nicholasfarr14254]

Hi Ian, I was thinking more about the Disco's I used to do and how the black light (as they were referred too) revealed certain clothes of a colour, not normally seen, that some people wore, which they did not ought wear at such an event.

Regards Nick.

[Ian Skeldon 2Participant @ianskeldon2]

I admit to being a very poor gardener but isn't it a bit early for bulbs? Cast a clout or whatever…

[peter smith 5Participant @petersmith5]

Oh yes!

Back in the day of school and amateur dramatics the annual panto always had a “ dream scene “ lit by ultra violet light only, all the rest in blackout. Being a teacher I used to coerce, bully or punish certain young ladies into being on stage. I cannot remember which panto but the dance scene had 6 nubile young ladies sealed in folded bedsheets with Velcro to appear to be ghosts. Lit only by UV the vision from the back of the hall had most of us crying with laughter. The only attire that they wore were bra and panties, which had seen the washing machine many times. You cannot get all of the detergent out and it glows in UV light .( the oldest swing in town found his dentures also glowed) The scene of cavorting underwear floating just like the dancer in the tales of the unexpected was extremely entertaining. I gave them the choice of either buying new underwear and not washing it or going o natural. You work it out.
Hippies and students used to paint white walls with bluinite Tide ( the best) which was invisible until UV light was applied. I will not enlighten you of the erotica so painted .
keep taking the tablets

pete

[Nigel Graham 2Participant @nigelgraham2]

TO Change A Light-Bulb….

5 to point out (as an electrician told me) they are "luminaires", as in "lamps glow, bulbs grow".

10 to tell us it should of course be an l.e.d. luminaire and pontificate on what Watts, etc.

Several to recall Grandad putting all the lamps out by banging a nail through the rubber-insulated, lead-sheathed 2-core cable…

… and one remembering how his Grandad would repair said cable with bloomer elastic (rubber), 'Gloy' glue and a scrap of flashing lead hammered round.

Two or three saying their Great-Uncle's outside khasi were illuminated by an acetylene lamp that also gave a slight background warmth not far below that from the scullery range

. prompting another to ask where you can still buy calcium-carbide – recounting how the bloke in B&Q had said "Wossat? Never-rerd of i' ! " and fled.

Half a dozen arguing the finer points of the IEE Wiring Regulations (Lighting) until…

… someone else points out they were looking at the rules for the mining industry.

'

And one who then chimes in to say, "I've already changed it", and is promptly chided for high-jacking the thread.

Edited By Nigel Graham 2 on 17/02/2021 22:15:17

[Bernard WrightParticipant @bernardwright25932]

It only takes one person, If you kept the receipt…..

Sorry if someone else came up with that gem from 'One Foot in the Grave'

Edited By Bernard Wright on 17/02/2021 22:42:46

[Robin GrahamParticipant @robingraham42208]

Back in the days of usenet, there was a tacit agreement that a discussion had run its course at the first mention of Facism, or the accusation 'Nazi'. Sometimes it was bit like 'Mornington Crescent'! Further comments migrated to alt.flame where the game was to be as impolite as possible. It worked quite well – alt.flame was a sort of sandbox in which people could vent their spleen (relatively) harmlessly. Of course in this forum there would have to be Flame (reducing), Flame (oxidising) and all the subtle things between…

Just a 'plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose' moment prompted by Neil's post.

Robin.

PS – I'm not suggesting that this is a hostile forum – quite the reverse in my experience.

[HopperParticipant @hopper]

10 members to point out it must have been a cheap Chinese light bulb if it burnt out in the first place. And you'd be better off to scout around boot sales and find a good used British light bulb that with a little bit of fettling should last 105 years like the one above my lathe that has been there since I was an apprentice in James Watt's works.

10 more to point out that most beginners should be able to pick up the finer points of glass blowing to make a new outer glass to replace the genuine Lucas item on the worn British item, and convert their air compressor to a vacuum pump to evacuate it after installation. New filaments can be easily made too of course, using tungsten wire from the scrap box wound around a matchstick former. Once the glass and filament have been replaced, and a new base turned from solid brass with a British Standard Lightbulb Thread, the refurbished British bulb will outlast and outperform anything from China.

Then another 25 members to point out that buying a used British lightbulb at a boot sale comes with no warranty and you are much better off to buy a new Chinese bulb so that when it does not work — or flickers dimly — you can send it back and get another one — which may or may not be just the same. Plus the new bulbs come with a full set of accessories including three and four jaw inserting chucks and a fixed ladder steady to aid installation. Warnings will abound of the amount of wear that can be found on used bulbs and the time and expense of rectifying such wear, compared with the shiny newness of the Chinese bulbs.

10 members will then point out that it takes two grown men and a boy to lift a good solid old British light bulb whereas a Chinese lightbulb can be carried in one's fob pocket and may tend to float away on the breeze if not screwed into its socket tightly enough.

Then another 25 members to tell of how they used their single Chinese mini-lightbulb to illuminate their making of a full-scale working model of the Titanic's main engine so obviously its smaller size than the older British bulbs is no drawback.

To which another 25 will point out that old British lightbulbs salvaged from the wreck of the Titanic are still in use today, providing illumination for the Hadron Collider and the NASA Mars Rover.

At which point one longstanding member who shall remain nameless will post a link to a site that keeps count of the number of electrons gone missing from the Hadron Collider and provides exact dimensions of each one but can only hypothesise the exact location. 25 more members will then debate the quantum possibilities of predicting both the dimension and location of any given particle at any given time.

At which point a further 25 members will point out that time is all relative anyway, or doesn't exist, or is circular, or at least not linear and seems to certainly be in increasingly short supply compared with the much longer hours of their youth.

At which point the OP will reappear after days away, to make his third-ever post on the forum and say "Ooops. Sorry chaps. I meant to ask how many forum members does it take to change a sink drain. Got my terminology mixed up with the wrong YouTube video I watched."

 

 

Edited By Hopper on 18/02/2021 06:19:37

[Danny M2ZParticipant @dannym2z]

I always thought that lightbulbs and other electronic components ran on smoke and if one let the smoke out they failed to work. This is based on experience.

Of course, on this forum the lightbulb followers would be up in arms if the forum software were changed and the lightbulb questions were not displayed with a light grey background with olive green post separators with ads that flicker like a failing lightbulb scampering down the right hand column.

Of course, the discussion might gravitate to why change the lightbulb in the first place?

Not required if one had purchased one of these Worlds longest burning light bulb It still has all the smoke intact.

[Brian GParticipant @briang]

From recent experience two, one to install the necessary software and one to realise that the bulb was linked to the wrong account. And even then, "Alexa, turn on the light" can have totally unpredictable results depending on which Echo hears you first.

I'm starting to think rewiring the house to the latest edition in order to have all the switches at wheelchair height would have been simpler.

Brian G

[GeorgineerParticipant @georgineer]

Then there's the post from a chap called George who moans about the fact that nobody stocks authentic Victorian bulbs to go with his 1891 Boy's Own Small Dynamo, driven by his 1895 Boy's Own Model Gas Engine, and wonders if anybody on the forum can give him advice on how to make his own.

er… George B.

[HopperParticipant @hopper]

And there is always at least one helpful Harry who will suggest collecting finest silica sand from Brighton beach and heating it in a homemade furnace powered by leftover chip shop oil to make your own glass for Boys Own bulb.

[MK_ChrisParticipant @mk_chris]

101 Programmers gave up after they realised it was Hardware and not Software.

Chris.

[Danny M2ZParticipant @dannym2z]

The main problem is PEBKAS (Problem exists between keyboard and seat). Made a few quid explaining this to pc users , )o

 

Edited By Danny M2Z on 18/02/2021 17:29:38

[Mike PooleParticipant @mikepoole82104]

I assume we are actually discussing the changing of a lamp

Mike

[JasonBModerator @jasonb]

Posted by Mike Poole on 11/03/2022 16:31:31:

I assume we are actually discussing the changing of a lamp

Mike

So you are one of the 15 mentioned in Jimmy's post half way down the first page

Also hope it's been changed by now

[not done it yetParticipant @notdoneityet]

I’m guessing (probably wrongly) that Neil actually took his ‘statistics’ from a real thread on the forum?

[Brian GParticipant @briang]

Posted by not done it yet on 11/03/2022 16:47:08:

I’m guessing (probably wrongly) that Neil actually took his ‘statistics’ from a real thread on the forum?

My suspicion is that this thread may be self referential.

Brian G

[SillyOldDufferModerator @sillyoldduffer]

Try turning it off and on again. Fixes all computer faults!

[Author]

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