How Many People Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb on the Forum?

[Neil WyattModerator @neilwyatt]

[Neil WyattModerator @neilwyatt]

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in a Forum thread?

• 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

• 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

• 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

• 17 purists who use candles and are offended by light bulb discussions.

• 6 to argue over whether it's 'lightbulb' or 'light bulb'.

• Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.

• 22 to tell THOSE 6 to stop being idiots.

• 2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is 'lamp'.

• 15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that 'light bulb' is perfectly correct.

• 19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a light bulb forum.

• 11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant here.

• 36 People to post pics of their own light bulbs.

• 15 People to post "I can't see ****!" and use their own light bulbs.

• 6 to report the post to an admin because someone said "****"

• 4 to say "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?".

• 13 to say "Do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".

• 1 to bring politics into the discussion by adding that {insert politician of choice} isn't the brightest bulb. This usually takes place within the first three comments.

• 50 more to get into personal attacks over their political views.

• 5 admins to ban the light bulb posters who took it all too seriously.

• 1 late arrival to comment on the original post 6 months later and start it all over again.

<Adopted from a famous skit about Facebook>

[Dave HalfordParticipant @davehalford22513]

Nice one Neil, I admit to being one of the 4, but I'm not bitter.

[noel shelleyParticipant @noelshelley55608]

VERY Funny !!! Time on your hands ? Now I will have to decide which category I fall into and see If the forum agree ! Noel

I think you have got us all with this one ! How long before more categories are added ?

Edited By noel shelley on 17/02/2021 12:47:25

[Brian HParticipant @brianh50089]

Excellent post Neil, made me smile because it is uncannily accurate.

Brian

Edited By Brian H on 17/02/2021 12:47:29

[Bob n AboutParticipant @bobnabout]

I have a filament bulb, if anyone is up for an argument ?

[noel shelleyParticipant @noelshelley55608]

What is the relationship between colour and voltage ? Noel

[Rik ShawParticipant @rikshaw]

BELL LAB PROVES EXISTENCE OF DARK SUCKERS! 

For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However,
recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs
don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark
suckers.  The dark sucker theory, according to a spokesman from the Labs,
proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of
light, and that dark is faster than light. 

The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take
for example the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is less dark
right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker,
the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot have
a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. 

As with all things, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of
dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full
dark sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice that after the
first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been
sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating
candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the path of the dark
flowing into the candle. Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have
a very limited range. 

There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in these can't handle all
of the dark by themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When
the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced
before the portable dark sucker can operate again. 

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass
generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker.
Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in the solid
wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount of heat. Thus
it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle. 

Dark is also heavier than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice
it gets darker and darker. When you reach a depth of approximately fifty
feet, you are in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to
the bottom of the lake and the ligher light floats to the top. 

The immense power of dark can be utilized to a man's advantage. We can
collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of lakes and push it
through turbines, which generates electricity and helps push it to the
ocean where it may be safely stored. Prior to turbines, it was much more
difficult to get dark from rivers and lakes to the ocean. The Indians
recognized this problem and tried to solve it. When on a river in a canoe
traveling in the same direction as the flow of dark, they paddled slowly,
so as not to stop the flow of dark, but when they traveled against the
flow of dark, they paddled quickly so as to help push the dark along its
way. 

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you stand in an
illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then slowly open the
door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet, but since the dark
is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet. 

In conclusion, Bell Labs stated that dark suckers make all our lives much
easier. So the next time you look at an electric light bulb, remember that
it is indeed a dark sucker.

Rik

[jimmy bParticipant @jimmyb]

You missed the 15 that will call it a lamp…

Jim

[BazyleParticipant @bazyle]

You got the start wrong..

First post is someone who has bought a box of 10 lightbulbs but is a newbie and wants to know how they are used. Later it transpires his aim is to make a mortorbike unsafe before selling it on ebay.
20 posts follow about the merits of used lightbulbs over new Chinese ones and visa versa.
2 regulars post how they have WW2 searchlights to illuminate the 'smallest room' and nothing smaller will do.
6 posts about returning their lightbulb to Warco/Chester because they didn't realise you had to plug it in to make it work.
After 100 posts explainig things to the OP he gets in a huff and declares he was a professional lighting engineer for 75 years and is leaving the forum.

[Bob n AboutParticipant @bobnabout]

#BrightLightsMatter

[JasonBModerator @jasonb]

You also missed

2 that will ask the OP to post a photo

1 Op who will ask how to post photos

3 who will answer the above

7 who will moan about how the forum handles inserting images

4 Who will tell the OP his image is sideways

4 Who will tell him its upside down

1 Of those 4 will say it's OK in Australia

1 Mod who will have to rotate it.

5 others who will ask why the post shows a Mod edited it

5 who will suggest LED over Traditional

2 Who will post links to banned suppliers

1 who will moan that google will record you searching for lighbulbs/lamps/light bulbs and take all your details

And so it goes on to

1 Smart A** who will ask if you want the mean or median answer

7 who will debate mean, average and median

………………………….

Edited By JasonB on 17/02/2021 13:08:51

[V8EngParticipant @v8eng]

Changing light bulbs! I thought that was a servants job.😉

Edited By V8Eng on 17/02/2021 13:22:18

[JourneymanParticipant @journeyman]

I think the forum lightbulb should be changed to an LED

John

Edit: Jason got there before me!

Edited By Journeyman on 17/02/2021 13:29:06

[Martin KyteParticipant @martinkyte99762]

and the social scientist who insists that the light bulb must really want to change.

;O)

Martin

[DalboyParticipant @dalboy]

And the last question is have we got that many active members to make all those posts

[Former MemberParticipant @formermember12892]

[This posting has been removed]

[not done it yetParticipant @notdoneityet]

The second ‘6’ is wrong. It only takes one, and the thread gets changed.🙂

[John HaineParticipant @johnhaine32865]

Real light bulbs have a bayonet not a thread…

[Dave HalfordParticipant @davehalford22513]

• 7 who say it should be a 3phase light bulb running though a VFD.

[Jeff DaymanParticipant @jeffdayman43397]

what about "I don't like the font and colour of the 'bulb' posts" or "the real problem with bulb changes is that the house is hard to rotate under the bulb"

[noel shelleyParticipant @noelshelley55608]

3 phase light bulb, I thought that was called a mercury rectifier ? Noel, the bright Boy !

[Pete WhiteParticipant @petewhite15172]

Made me smile more than once, didn't see about the ones who put up an answer exactly the same as a couple more up post cos they have added their solution without reading the thread.

Oh dear I haven't read all the posts lol.

[JssParticipant @jss]

And Neil missed

1 who said the OP maybe shouldn't be changing the bulb in the first place but should be ringing the local distribution network operator first to check there isn't a power outage in the area. Otherwise he could end up changing all of his bulbs (and all of his neighbours as well).

[Nicholas FarrParticipant @nicholasfarr14254]

Hi, and you'll get at least 1 ex-H&S safety person who will say you should use a step ladder with handrails and a current ladder inspection certificate attached and also to switch and lock off the electric supply.

Another who will be concerned how you are going to dispose of / recycle the old one.

Regards Nick.

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