Hobby related jokes

[JimmieSParticipant @jimmies]

Can't locate the last thread on this theme so have started another.

Wife to husband '… and the doctor said children are exposed to many harmful things while watching TV, but welding flash burns were a new one on him…"

Edited By JimmieS on 14/01/2018 21:30:09

[JimmieSParticipant @jimmies]

[Alan Waddington 2Participant @alanwaddington2]

Can’t remember if i posted this last time, so apologies if i did. It’s ancient, but still tickles me, especially as i come from a mining village, and know how much stuff came out of the back door of the pit.

Two deputies from the colliery turn up at Fred’s house as they suspect he’s been stealing from work.

Doreen his wife answers the door……

“Is Fred in? “ asks the first deputy…..

“Yes lads” Doreen replies….., “He’s down at the bottom of the garden in his workshop”…….”Shall i give him a call ?”

The two deputies give each other a triumphant look……..and one says….” No Love, we’ll have a walk down there for a chat”

“Oh no need for that” replies Doreen……” Just ring that bell and he’ll send the man rider up for you”

😂😂😂

[Nick HulmeParticipant @nickhulme30114]

There must be a "How many mode engineers does it take to ………….."

[I.M. OUTAHEREParticipant @i-m-outahere]

Posted by Nick Hulme on 15/01/2018 00:39:47:

There must be a "How many mode engineers does it take to ………….."

Please Nick don't open that can of worms 😂

Ian

[PeroParticipant @pero]

Posted by Nick Hulme on 15/01/2018 00:39:47:

There must be a "How many mode engineers does it take to ………….."

Please Nick don't open that can of worms 😂

Good point. How many engineers does it take to open a can of worms? (with apologies)

Pero

[JourneymanParticipant @journeyman]

Posted by Pero on 15/01/2018 07:00:04:

Good point. How many engineers does it take to open a can of worms? (with apologies)

Pero

That would rather depend on:

1. The size of the can
2. Whether it is Metric or Imperial
3. The breed of worm
4. and whether they are left or right handed

John

Edited By Journeyman on 15/01/2018 09:37:01

[FMESParticipant @fmes]

That would rather depend on:

1. The size of the can
2. Whether it is Metric or Imperial
3. The breed of worm
4. and whether they are left or right handed

John

Edited By Journeyman on 15/01/2018 09:37:01

Would the engineer have all available appendages or be digitally challenged?

[David ColwillParticipant @davidcolwill19261]

Posted by *.* on 15/01/2018 09:54:28:

That would rather depend on:

1. The size of the can
2. Whether it is Metric or Imperial
3. The breed of worm
4. and whether they are left or right handed

John

Edited By Journeyman on 15/01/2018 09:37:01

Would the engineer have all available appendages or be digitally challenged?

Are there any health and safety issues. (runs for cover)

[Gordon WParticipant @gordonw]

I've always liked the glass half full/ glass half-empty one– engineer says what you need is a smaller glass.

[mark costello 1Participant @markcostello1]

Bean counter says You can't have it.

[RobboParticipant @robbo]

Posted by Gordon W on 15/01/2018 10:56:09:

I've always liked the glass half full/ glass half-empty one– engineer says what you need is a smaller glass.

It doesn't matter whether its half full or half empty – it still needs topping up!

[vintagengineerParticipant @vintagengineer]

I was taught as an apprentice if I wanted to keep all my fingers, never put them anywhere you would not want to put your todger!

[Neil WyattModerator @neilwyatt]

Why did the model engineer get into robotics?

He wanted to make new friends.

[ron vale 3Participant @ronvale3]

When i started my first job i got sacked the first week for being 10 thou out

 

 

I hate that bank

Edited By ron vale 1 on 24/02/2018 21:17:09

[Fowlers FuryParticipant @fowlersfury]

"Can't locate the last thread on this theme so have started another"

**LINK**

[peak4Participant @peak4]

There are only 10 types of people in the world;

Those who understand binary and those who don't.

[Barnaby WildeParticipant @barnabywilde70941]

The primary function of design is to make it difficult to fabricate & impossible to service.

[vintagengineerParticipant @vintagengineer]

That applies to all modern cars!

Posted by Mick Charity on 25/02/2018 07:33:32:

The primary function of design is to make it difficult to fabricate & impossible to service.

[Russell EberhardtParticipant @russelleberhardt48058]

Posted by Mick Charity on 25/02/2018 07:33:32:

The primary function of design is to make it difficult to fabricate & impossible to service.

"design", a much mis-used word now. Originally from the Latin designare meaning to mark out or devise. Now too often used to mean something arty.

Russell

[Eric CoxParticipant @ericcox50497]

How hard is it counting in binary

It's as easy as 01 10 11

[John HaineParticipant @johnhaine32865]

Slogan on a softie's tee-shirt:

Only dead people and me understand hex!

How many people understand hex?

[Frances IoMParticipant @francesiom58905]

but are there just 57006 old timers left

however in 64bit we have 3735928559 non thinkers

[Mick B1Participant @mickb1]

Posted by Russell Eberhardt on 25/02/2018 10:08:47:

Posted by Mick Charity on 25/02/2018 07:33:32:

The primary function of design is to make it difficult to fabricate & impossible to service.

"design", a much mis-used word now. Originally from the Latin designare meaning to mark out or devise. Now too often used to mean something arty.

Russell

Arty? Some people think a sandwich can be a "designer" item!

[pgk pgkParticipant @pgkpgk17461]

I stumbled acros this one today – and thought it brilliant:

"Joe? He started his apprenticeship before the Dead Sea even reported in sick."

pgk

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