Favourite Engineering quotes.

[chris stephensParticipant @chrisstephens63393]

Corollary to Neil's point, if you do, make sure to count your fingers afterwards, at least with the first two.

[NJHParticipant @njh]

Very unfriendly of you Neil!

I would certainly shake hands with these guys ( but would rapidly wash my hands afterwards!) I would add to those listed any medical practitioners –  particularly any specializing in proctology !!

Norman

Edited By NJH on 27/09/2014 13:18:58

[Neil WyattModerator @neilwyatt]

I would have become a vet, but I read the James Herriot books…

Neil

[Phil WhitleyParticipant @philwhitley94135]

"If at first you don't succeed, give up" From one of the best pro precision engineers I know. (he was joking of course)

Phil

[Alan Waddington 2Participant @alanwaddington2]

To quote my old gaffer when he thought the job wasn't moving fast enough …"

…"come on lad we're not making gold watches here you know"

[Speedy Builder5Participant @speedybuilder5]

Around about 1965, I was working as an apprentice in the D.O. on the Concord project (Notice the lack of an 'e&#39. Things wern't going well when the following set of laws was circulated.

[Eric CoxParticipant @ericcox50497]

"If at first you don't succeed, give up" From one of the best pro precision engineers I know. (he was joking of course)"

"If at first you don't succeed, try try and fail again"

[Ian S CParticipant @iansc]

If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer.

Ian S C

[John BurridgeParticipant @johnburridge26484]

near enough good enough as they used to say at Rolls Royce aero

If it eyeable it flyable

[John BurridgeParticipant @johnburridge26484]

As my dad used to say go away lad with some paper and a pencil,come up with six ideas then chose between them.

As they say there more ways of skinning a cat!!!

[HopperParticipant @hopper]

Posted by John Shepherd on 27/09/2014 08:55:13:

2. From an engineering company who supplied equipment to the police service: 'We can copper plate it but we can't copper proof it'.

When I used to repair press dies and associated jigs that had been broken by production workers loading in too many parts at once or putting parts in wrong way round etc, it was reckoned that it was no good making tooling foolproof, it had to be idiotproof.

And, the Harley Davidson bolt torque method: "Tighten it up till it strips, then back it off a quarter turn."

And one from the boiler house, from an old steam engineer who cut his teeth on marine triple expansion engines: "If you come into the boiler house and see the boiler has no water in the glass, pressure gauge is over the blood and the burner is at full fire, what steps do you take? Boiler house steps, two at a time, lad."

And: "If you can keep calm and collected while all those around you are panicking, you probably don't understand the problem."

Upon seeing struggling apprentice (me) battling to get a bolt to to through its hole in the mating flange on a steam pipe etc: "Put some bloody hair around it, boy. You'll get it straight in then."

"If you were any bloody slower painting that boiler, the brush would be stuck to the job."

WHS would have him up the office for bullying and harassment these days, I suppose. But I learned more from blokes like that than I did from any pencil-pusher.

[ronan walshParticipant @ronanwalsh98054]

"where there's muck there's brass" – Bradley Hardacre, inventor of silent but deady explosives.

I've been all through my garden with a spade and never found a sign of any brass

[Johnboy25Participant @johnboy25]

One of my favourites is "If it's that easy everybody would be doing it!" Origin unknown.

John

[Stephen BensonParticipant @stephenbenson75261]

When I was an apprentice one of the gaffers would often say "never put your fingers where you would not put your c**K "

Sadly I ended up picking four of his fingers out of the swarf tray of small Colchester lathe when he put it in reverse while holding the chuck key. He was explaining something to me and another apprentice at the time we certainly learned a lesson that day. They managed to reattach them but they were never the same.

Edited By Stephen Benson on 28/09/2014 19:13:10

[John BurridgeParticipant @johnburridge26484]

The lads at work when they try to explain why is does not go together is "fits on the CAD"that how we get racing cars together!!!!

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